I don’t really know what to say about abuse. It stretches my belief that people
really are doing the best they can at any moment. Stories of people being tied up
and put in closets and the trunks of automobiles, of being beaten and starved...
those stories tear at my insides. Yet abuse of much more subtle kinds, the emotional
abuse of “put-downs” and “make-wrongs”, the constant messages of “you’re bad” or
“you’re worthless”, often accompanies the more obvious “physical” abuses... and often
creates the greater part of the emotional damage.
Survivors of abuse have to deal with a number of issues: physical damage to themselves;
painful and frightening memories (even “flashbacks”); pervasive fear or sadness;
“dissociation”, or a separation of self from emotions (“numbing”); or even, in severe
cases, an extreme dissociation of the self into multiple parts or identities. And
underlying all is a sense of worthlessness, guilt and shame.
Unraveling all that seems that it would take years, if not decades, on the analyst’s
couch. Fortunately, it is not as hopeless as it seems. Here’s a short story to
illustrate how EFT can impact the effects of abuse.
Just last year, a new person moved into the office just across the hall. The room
was small, with no windows and a single entry. When I got a break in my schedule
I went across the hall to introduce myself. When I came into the office and closed
the door, I noticed my new neighbor (let’s call her “Sue”) became anxious. Sue explained
that she was claustrophobic and couldn’t stand to have the door closed. She always
kept a door or window open in her own home, even in mid-winter. I opened the door,
of course, and we talked some more. It seems that Sue’s parents would lock her for
extended periods of time in a wardrobe that was just big enough that she had to remain
standing. (There was more abuse going on, which I won’t go into here.) No wonder
she was claustrophobic!
I explained that I thought I could help her, and arranged to come back later. I
left the door open this time, and showed Sue how to use the EFT for her fear. After
a round or two of EFT, I got up and closed the door. Sue sat there, marveling at
her lack of reaction. We tried “open door” and we tried “closed door”. Sue’s response:
“It doesn’t make any difference if it’s open or closed.”
Sue took what I taught her and ran with it. Hardly a day passed that she wasn’t
telling me another “miracle.” In the span of very few days following her “breakthrough”
with the claustrophobia, Sue recovered a large part of her sense of self, and she
gave up being abused, absolutely and definitively. When I last heard from her, she
was in the throes of fighting an employer who had unjustly fired her. I’m glad I’m
not in that employer’s shoes!
Ready to overcome your abuse? Click here.